Jean Pierre Pinot's Visit

Jean Pierre Pinot came to my Sett last week demanding an imaginary biscuit. It was unfortunate as I'd given the last of my stock just that very morning to Gwynfor Tennessee McJones, the Mayor of Badgerville. The Mayor had come around to discuss the right-of-way issues on the Badgerville high street. But we ended up eating imaginary biscuits and playing Badger Quest. Far more exciting than transport issues, even if they were Badgerville transport issues.

Jean Pierre Pinot was getting frustrated and rather aggressive at the lack of imaginary biscuits. But what could I do? I didn't have any left. Then I suddenly had a great idea, which I am still proud of today - I attacked Jean Pierre Pinot with a spoon.

It was a frenzied attack that, if I'm honest, I've wanted to do for quite some time. And thankfully the spoon wasn't imaginary otherwise it wouldn't have been half as satisfying. If you get the chance, I thoroughly recommend attacking Jean Pierre Pinot with a spoon.

As for the imaginary biscuits, don't worry folks, I'm getting another batch in tomorrow. And, because of his indiscretions, Jean Pierre Pinot will not be getting any.

And, also, because he is a twat.

Big Cheese Badger's Review of 2010

Everyone seems to be writing a review of 2010 this year. Why on earth is this? Most seem to have written their review in early January or last December, so it appears that, with it being August, I am late with my own review.

But late or not, I couldn't stop myself from jumping on the bandwagon. Even if I couldn't actually see the bandwagon anywhere. I am nothing if not a persistent badger, so I ran like a closely-shaved badger for ruddy miles to catch up with said bandwagon. But when I caught up with it, I frustratingly couldn't jump on it, as it had been set ablaze. It was clearly abandoned as there wasn't a soul for miles. Typical. After waiting patiently for forty-two hours for the fire go out, all that was left was a pile of ash. So I thought I wasn't going to come all this way for nothing - so I heartily jumped on the ash. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

So here it is folks, the Big Cheese Badger's review of 2010:

Expectations were high as you'd expect, but it wasn't as spectacular and ground-breaking as 2001. But did we honestly think it would be? However, it was enjoyable, gripping, involving and it left me wanting more. Now I'm looking forward to 2061 and 3001. I'm not sure if I'll live to see them but my claws are crossed.

So there it is, was it worth all that huffing and puffing, just to jump on some hot ash? Probably not, but at least it's out of my system. It's strange though, as most reviews of 2010 seem to have missed the point entirely.

Wales 1- 3 Scotland

Another fantastic performance from the newly voted Best Football Team in the World* - yet another proud moment to be Welsh.

*Best Football Team in the World award voted by Dafydd Jones and Rhys Ieuan Evans and Jean Pierre Pinot whilst having a ridiculously late brunch in their caravan.

Final Result:
Wales - 2 votes
France - 1 vote

Other categories and their results:

Best Defensive Team:
Wales - 2 votes
France - 1 vote

Best Attacking Team:
Wales - 2 votes
France - 1 vote

Most Flamboyant Team:
Wales - 2 votes
France - 1 vote

Most Successful Team in the Last Decade:
Wales - 2 votes
France - 1 vote

Best Team in the Solar System:
Wales - 2 votes
France - 1 vote

Best Team in the Universe:
Wales - 2 votes
France - 1 vote

Best Team in the Multiverse:
Wales - 2 votes
France - 1 vote

Best Team that Has Existed and Will Ever Exist Including Imaginary Teams:
Wales - 2 votes
France - 1 vote

Best animals:
Dragons - 2 votes
Frogs - 1 vote

And one final category was voted for after Jean Pierre's intellectually-challenged brother arrived:

Best Passing Team:
Wales - 2 votes
France - 1 vote
Yemen - 1 vote

A frustrating night for Jean Pierre Pinot and his beloved France.

Awards overheard by BCB whilst arranging his worms into the shape of the WAAB logo prior to consuming them. And then whilst excreting said worms. BCB takes no responsibility for the odours now lurking underneath Jean Pierre Pinot's caravan.