Dimension Jumper vs Cardboard Man and the Fake Loch Ness Monster

I had a rather disturbing dream the other night:

I was getting into a lift. But I was somehow aware that if the doors closed behind me then I'd get transported to another dimension. I got transported a few times, much to my annoyance. But for some reason I was determined to beat it. So I had an idea: I got out of the lift and I tried to reach in and press the button, hoping that the lift would go and I wouldn't be transported; but I got transported again. Who knows what I was really trying to achieve.

Then the next thing I remember I was standing facing a staircase and there was a flat piece of cardboard lying rather ominously at the bottom of the stairs. Nothing weird about that, surely? But suddenly, before my very eyes, the piece of cardboard inflated into the shape of a man. The whole inflating process was very impressive to behold, thinking back that is. However, at the time I was very scared of this inflating cardboard freak. You'd be surprised at how scary a self-inflated piece of cardboard is. The fully-inflated cardboard man then advanced towards me in a 'I'm going to rip your limbs off and shove them down your throat' fashion, but thankfully I don't remember what happened next. Presumably he didn't succeed, as the dream moved on:

Suddenly, I was sat around a table with some friends, having fun, chatting. They were telling me the story of when they were driving around one night and one of them was standing up in the car, poking out of the sunroof, and dressed very unconvincingly as the Loch Ness Monster. I could picture it perfectly, and they were right - it was a terribly unconvincing Loch Ness Monster costume. Anyway they were nearly home, when suddenly another car drove straight towards them and rammed into them. The driver of this other car thought it was the real Loch Ness Monster on the rampage, and tried to kill it. What a stupid moron; how could he possibly think that ridiculous Loch Ness Monster costumer was the "real" Loch Ness Monster? Not to mention that it was driving around in a car. What an idiot. I laughed a lot when they told me.

In the dream I mean. Which is nice as you don't often laugh at something stupid in a dream. I also laughed once I woke up, which prompted this exercise in sharing.

Don't you hate it when people tell you their dreams? They have no real point or direction and they are usually just fragments loosely joined together. It's like reading a story written by a five-year old. "Wow, that's amazing, Horatio, you're going to grow up to be a famous novelist."

Obviously this dream is the exception - it's a powerful story full of emotional impact, and excitement that could kill a man. In fact, I feel so strongly that this amazing story should be shared across the world, that I have completely removed copyright from it and will forgo all royalties, so you may use it and retell it as you wish. Perhaps for the basis of the next summer movie blockbuster? I can see it now:

"Dimension Jumper vs Cardboard Man and the Fake Loch Ness Monster"

I would definitely go and see a film called Dimension Jumper vs Cardboard Man and the Fake Loch Ness Monster.

Yes, you are right, my kindness knows no bounds, I am amazing. I am, of course, aware of this fact, but it's always nice to be told.

I am also aware of the fact that I am not a dribbling moron with half a banana stuck out of my ear. But it's always nice to be told.